Black Canvas - Laika Bertrand

Men are artists
Fathers are painters,
And I have many memories of my daddy painting me.

I remember it was a month after my 8th birthday when my daddy painted me for the first time.
I watched my mother cry and my father leave—
The first swatch of black I’d seen on my canvas.

The second time he painted me was when my mother, sister, and I slept in the trunk of the Mercedes Benz he’d bought us not long before.

Men are artists
Fathers are painters,
They have a way of manipulating your mind to see colors so beautiful—
They’ll paint pretty pictures of reds, blues, yellows, and pinks,
Oranges, greens, and purples.

Men are the artists, but soon you’ll realize that all those colors mixed together are black.
They’ll paint you black and convince you to see all its counterparts.

I’m sorry your daddy has already painted you black,
In ways my daddy never did,
In ways I don’t know how to color over.

I have memories of pinks and blues,
I have memories of purples and greens.
I had a pretty canvas before my daddy painted mine black.

But I don’t know what your canvas will look like,
Or how you’ll choose to interpret this art.

I pray, though, my Mona Lisa, that one day he’ll realize he is a painter now.
I pray, my love, one day he’ll look at you as the canvas he has no choice but to alter.
I pray, my child, that one day he’ll realize there are more colors to use than just black.

About The Piece

The poem “Black Canvas” explores the emotional complexities of fatherhood and the imprint they often leave on their children’s lives. In this piece, there is a comparison made between fathers and artists. In this poem, fathers are portrayed as painters, entrusted with the profound responsibility of shaping and coloring their child's mind. Every choice they make, every decision they live up to is another swatch of color on their child’s memories, for better or for worse. Fathers, in this metaphor, are not just protectors but artists shaping their children’s perceptions of the world and the person they are in it. Fathers play a significant and often underestimated role in shaping their children's mindsets. The relationship between a father and their child goes far beyond the traditional view of being a provider. It’s about emotional, psychological, and social influence. From early childhood to adulthood, the impact a father has affects how children see themselves, how they approach the world, and how they form relationships. 

For the author, the father’s absence and emotional scars she gained by such are represented by the color black. This color dominates the canvas and covers the pretty pictures of her past. Her “canvas” is now a representation of the pain and abandonment she has endured so far. The first “swatch of black” comes when the father leaves, and with it, the author’s childhood innocence is tainted. The trauma of sleeping in a car adds yet another layer of darkness to her painting. As mentioned before these overlapping shades of black have taken over the vibrant colors she once knew; pinks, blues, and greens, all colors representing a happier, simpler time in her life. 

The message behind this metaphor is getting the audience to understand that fathers have so much influence on a child’s life; and this influence can be a blessing or a curse. Fathers have the ability to fill their child’s mind with memories of happiness, peace, and love. Yet, when their actions fail to live up to their role, they can obscure the light with black, leaving their children to process these mixed emotions. A lot of times, a child does not process the emotional damage caused by their fathers, or parents in general, until they are older. It is to be understood that mothers have the same effect on their children and can cause just as much damage, but this poem speaks on a connection once lost with a father and a connection between a father and a child in the making. The author acknowledges that while their own father painted black strokes on their canvas, their future child’s canvas is still to be shaped. The poem becomes a prayer for the child, a hope that their father will see the potential for more than just black and use the full spectrum of colors that he has to offer a father to a child. 

In the end, this poem calls attention to the power of fatherhood, not as a simple role, but as an act of creation and molding. Fathers have the potential to paint beautiful portraits or black canvases. Fatherhood is remembering the importance of being mindful of the impact they have on children, as parents. This topic can really be opened to mothers or any type of model figure in a child’s life. At the end of the poem there is a prayer for change, for the future father to realize that his child’s canvas is still open to new, more vibrant possibilities. This poem is a testament to the artistry that fatherhood is, to the influence adults have on children. What kind of colors are you painting on the canvas of those around you?