Do you ever find yourself in a social limbo? You have a lot of “friends,” but the connections lack depth and meaning. You might be part of multiple social circles yet still feel detached or disconnected from any one group. People who fall into the ‘background friend’ category often have acquaintances but don’t quite belong to any specific group (Phillips, 2024). 

Feeling Left Out?

It can be tough when you feel like plans change without you being notified and you’re the last to know—or worse, left in the dark altogether—making you feel like you’re not part of the group and your presence doesn’t even matter. Or you’re the one who’s always there—offering emotional and physical support, showing up when no one else does, and making yourself available whenever needed. Yet, this same level of support isn’t reciprocated. Not only are you building resentment towards your “friends”, but you also start to question what even friendship is. Is friendship supposed to feel like a one-way street? Then comes the feeling of being imbalanced, undervalued, and taken for granted. So, you shut down maybe or distance yourself from everyone simply because it does not even feel like it is worth the effort.

You’re Not Alone

I used to be in a similar situation—juggling life as a student while working, which made it difficult to connect socially. One semester, I decided to step out of my shell and organize a fun day with some 'friends.' But no one communicated or showed up, and I felt hurt. Living off campus, I couldn’t just drop by the Student Center or meet up casually—I had to make more of an effort. That experience led me to distance myself, not out of bitterness, but to protect my feelings and avoid projecting frustration.

At the end of the day, your worth isn’t about fitting into others' lives but about how you see and value yourself. Many people have been where you are, and it’s totally possible to find friendships where you feel genuinely appreciated and seen. Focus on building connections where you’re truly valued, and don’t be shy about sharing what you need and expect from your relationships. Most importantly, get out there, explore new places, and meet new people—you’ll attract the right friends who appreciate you for exactly who you are!

Share Your Story!

Comment below and share your experience: how have you navigated social limbo, and what strategies have helped you build deeper, more meaningful connections?

References

1. Phillips, M. (2024, May 10). Three signs you’re a ‘Background friend’ — and how to cope with it. Medium. https://max-phillips.medium.com/three-signs-youre-a-background-friend-and-how-to-cope-with-it-fdc63c22a6e